Friends and Partners
Some interesting discussion here about monogamous cheating and friends … I find it interesting because I’ve had the good fortune to meet a few good friends in the past year or so, and were I not allowed to form any sort of meaningful connection with them for fear of it being “cheating” on Alex, well … why would I limit myself so?
But it’s true, some people have the idea that your deepest thoughts or feelings, your strongest emotional connection, should be reserved for just one person, but, it’s like, I don’t care who you are you’re going to have relationships with other people that have unique dynamics and their own in-jokes and things like that. I think some people are afraid of losing a sort of perceived ownership or control over the emotional lives of their partners, and while I understand it I think it’s also not very loving, to keep someone you care about from growing in other directions and dimensions.
It true, if your best friend or partner has other best friends or partners, there are going to be things you’re going to start “not knowing about,” and less time for you. But look at it this way - the other friends are also not going to know things about your relationship with this person, you have your own special in-jokes and history, and the other person doesn’t get as much time either.
It’s like cloning. I could be cloned, memories and all, and there’d be two Adams. Except there wouldn’t. From the moment of cloning, there’d be Adam 1 and Adam 2, and we’d start having unique experiences that would define us as separate individuals. It’d be sort of like giving birth except deciding which one of us has to pay the rent would be a bit difficult.
And if that paragraph doesn’t make sense to you, then you’re clearly not a clone of me.