Damek.

I’m reading through this site about depression and recognizing so many things about myself, it’s almost scary. In reading this, I’m realizing that not only was I just stressed last year when I was having headaches and stuff, it was probably related to depression, and I’m also realizing that this has probably been going on a long time, like, since I moved to New York. I mean, here’s their list of “signs of depression,” with me checking off which ones I experience more than once in a while:

• Exhaustion on waking – check
• Disrupted sleep, sometimes through upsetting dreams – check
• Early morning waking and difficulty getting back to sleep – check
• Doing less of what they used to enjoy – check
• Difficulty concentrating during the day – check
• Improved energy as the day goes on – check
• Anxious worrying and intrusive upsetting thoughts – check
• Becoming emotional or upset for no particular reason – check
• Shortness of temper, or irritability – check

As I write this I’m up to the Understanding Depression part, where they talk about dreams and the cycle of depression. They summarize some of the key ideas on an earlier page:

When you are stressed, your brain works differently. You are more likely to resort to ‘All or Nothing’ thinking, which causes catastrophising, and difficulties in solving complex problems. In turn, this creates more arousal, or stress, and so continues the ‘loop’, increasing the amount you dream, and so exhausting you. This has an additional effect in the way it changes your sleep patterns…

It’s really resonating with me. I do tend to worry a lot, and resort to “all or nothing” type thinking. I can hardly remember thinking differently. I do generally have restless sleep these days, waking up early and not being able to get back to sleep. Without getting into details, recurring strange dreams and bad feelings surrounding them are definitely something I experience relatively commonly.

I wouldn’t say I’m a serious case; in fact, my experience of actual depression only comes up once in a while. But I’m thinking now that the conditions that cause it are pretty much constant, along with the underlying stress. And if I don’t do something about it, I can imagine becoming a serious case. I’m really glad I came across the site, and highly recommend it to other people, as depression is a pretty common experience these days, and even if you’re not depressed, you probably know someone who is, and it’s important to know that depression:

• Is not an inevitable consequence of unpleasant events
• Cannot be explained as a disease
• Is not caused by hormones, or brain chemicals

It has largely to do with thinking styles, to which I can definitely relate, and which the therapist I saw twice last year before deserting was trying to communicate to me, though I just nodded and ignored him at the time.

Most depression is not due to a chemical imbalance, or genetic factors. Low serotonin levels are a result, not a cause, of depression. Despite the prevailing ideas for the last few decades, this is now known to be a fact. This misunderstanding is also the reason why drugs for depression miss the point, and treat the symptoms instead of the causes.

Related to that, some really striking information:

People born since 1945 are 10 times more likely to suffer from depression than those born before.

That is an astounding figure, and it cannot be explained away by people going to their doctor more, or depression being diagnosed more easily, as these were taken into account in the study.

…what it does show clearly is that most depression is non-biological. Depression has biological effects, but studies now show that less than 10% of depression is biologically caused.

The most widely accepted explanation for this sort of phenomenon is that society has changed. Over the past 5 decades, there has been:

• a breakdown in the extended family
• a dispersal of communities
• an increased focus on material wealth
• an overwhelming prevalence of news media
• and an increase in focus on ‘the self’.

All of which, and more besides, add up to a potent recipe for depression.

Along with my own bad thinking patterns (massive introspection, worrying, anxiety, etc.), I think a big problem for me is not having many social connections out here in New York, and not spending quality time with the few I do have. On top of that is my general inability to socialize easily (just not a lot of practice), which tends to keep me afraid of socializing, and therefore not get practice, in a cycle. When I try to do volunteer work or political stuff, I’m stressing myself because, though I’m getting social activity, it’s fleeting and superficial, so it adds to the stress and depression rather than giving me the sense of family and community belonging that I crave.

So anyway. Good site, so far, with actual good information, including some references — and the best part is that it’s not selling anything; it actually gives you the information you need, instead of building up a desire for it and then asking for money to give you a book or something.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, June 7th, 2006 at 2:54 pm and is filed under Damek. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.