Damek.

Single? Feeling lonely? Never fear, Wal-Mart has been thinking about you! They want to make sure you can easily meet other lonely singles. They’ve even made sure to create “‘flirting points’ around the stores stacked with ‘romantic’ merchandise, such as chocolates, wine and cheese, to help with that first awkward step.”

But why stop there? You’ve got a big space, and shelves filled with interesting toys and foods. Make use of it all! That’s right, it’s orgy night at Wal-Mart! For those of us who have been coupled for a while, why not have a good, old-fashioned, wholesome swapping night? Couples, come on down to Wal-Mart, graze the aisles and find the somebody-else’s-spouse of your dreams to play with!

Well, it sounded good at the time. I think I’ll stay home that night when they actually start doing it, though.